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Andrew Lindemann Malone's Internet Playpen |
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What do I know about sports? Jack doodley, unless you count "playing with a Slinky I won at the division picnic during idle time at work," which is a sport I would dominate at if anyone else played it. I used to be okay at all the pickup sports, and would like to be okay someday again, but professional sports at the highest level? Hello, cable TV. Thus the title of this section.
Many of the pieces here were written in the heat of various moments. That's all to the good, as far as I'm concerned, but it does mean that almost all of these pieces have postludes, providing perspective far removed from the heat of that moment and instead thoroughly stoked by the heat of this moment right here. Calm, well-reasoned analysis has no place in sports criticism. It's terrible, inexcusable. Whereas making stuff up moment by moment is awesome, baby! That makes me a P.T.W., Prime Time Writer!
What stinks about watching the Nats, and what to do about it. An open letter to Bill Simmons about the absurdity of college football's current postseason. 3 Days in the Life of a Nats Fan July 1 through 3, hanging out at RFK. The Most Important Inauguration of 2005: The Washington Nationals Home Opener In which I am made exceedingly happy in several dozen different ways. Maryland beats FSU, history is made, and I am present. Plus meditations on the wherefores of fandom! Pedro vs. Zimmer, Dusty vs. Bartman, and an expletive-laden Internet graphic! The baseball team I'll root for until Washington gets a franchise lurches towards becoming the worst team in modern baseball history. The University of Maryland Men's Basketball Team 2002-3: Postmortem What was up with us, anyway? My diagnosis: The Terps proved they were…human. Why Matt Millen, though he probably made the wrong decision, was only wrong in a management, as opposed to a legal, sense. A page with five takes on our national holiday. One fan's early discontent with the WNBA. Pre-"The Big Aristotle" Shaq musings. The Texans, By Another Name, Would Stink As Badly Do's and don'ts in nicknaming your professional athletic team. Moral ambiguity in sports fandom and random Cowboys bashing. Mediocrity continues to reign in the Motor City. What happens when the enemy becomes us? Don't Ask Me For Sympathy...For Your Baseball Team The Yankees needed to win the World Series in 2001 to help New York rebuild?!??! Crayola Conference Teams To Face Off in Play-In Game Fodder on the way to the Maryland Terrapins men's basketball team's 2002 national championship.
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