Romance

Catherine Breillat, writer and director of the new French existentialist porno flick "Romance," claims that said film "is about female desire, not male fantasy." However, men and women alike who desire and fantasize about a film with a coherent plot that deals intelligently with problems of sexuality, subjugation and power will be sorely disappointed by this meandering, philosophically empty piece of crap. While this film takes much pride in its explicit depictions of many, many sex acts, a message of misogyny lies at this film's core, and it proves harder to swallow than all of the film's blowjobs combined.

To deal with the much-hyped controversial erotic content first, pornographically this film is a big waste of time. An enormous penis belonging to Italian porn star Rocco Siffredi, which seems willing to go to any lengths to make its scenes come alive, provides the only mildly titillating moments (although there is also a credible pimp theme at the start of the film). While the rest of "Romance"'s sexual content may be explicit, its relentlessly clinical approach sure doesn't arouse. In fact, much of the erotic content comes off as basically silly, thanks to some of the characters' predilection for discussing the metaphysical aspects of sex not afterwards or before but during the act itself, much to the bemusement of Siffredi and his more straightforward comrades-between-legs.

Of course, the film aims not to arouse but to explore issues of desire and fulfillment and power, thus putting the "existential" in "French existential porno flick." Main character Marie, played with great bravery by Caroline Ducey, has a dilemma. Her model-boyfriend Paul has declared that he is uninterested in further sex with her. Yet Marie loves Paul precisely because he refuses to treat her as an object of sexual desire, according to the intrusive, vapid, endless voice-overs scripted for Marie by Breillat. So Marie decides to pursue what she and Breillat think of as a compromise course: she has affairs with every man she can find, while continuing to profess her love for Paul. Desperate Marie is treated predictably badly by all of her extra-relationship lays, except (interestingly) Big Rocco, whom she dumps when she thinks she is beginning to love him. Marie bounces from degrading dalliance to degrading dalliance in a seemingly random progression that makes no concession to story logic or intelligence on Marie's part. All this proceeds to an inane climax and resolution seemingly dictated more by Breillat's need to end the movie than any character motivation.

In current pop-psychological parlance, Marie would be characterized as someone who makes bad decisions because of her self-esteem issues. But why? Marie's (and, presumably, Breillat's) conclude that men only want sex from women, and only men who do not want sex from women can love them. Having learned this lesson, Marie starts to loathe her sexuality and her body in general, and eventually takes pleasure only in being tied up by one of the more inventive perverts she hangs out with. Not only is this message basically trite and uninteresting, the events in the film do not bear it out. Paul pretty obviously does not love Marie at any stage of the film, whereas Big Rocco, quite apart from his gigantic endowment, seems quite a tender sort and just the type of man capable of providing both emotional and sexual satisfaction to Marie. Marie hates herself, and makes decisions that justify her low opinion of herself. Breillat hates her too, hates all women for wanting what she thinks are the contradictory goals of psychological and erotic gratification.

In sum, Breillat's is a world in which the woman is always the one screwed, in all senses of the term. Breillat is not happy with this, but she thinks it is the natural order of things. Let's just say that I hope people besides me disagree with her.

This film fails as pornography, fails at psychological depiction, and fails at addressing the questions it raises. If you want titillation, rent a Rocco Siffredi movie. If you want something French about sexuality and power, read Colette. But the only fantasy you're going to take away from this movie if you see it is the fantasy of getting the last 95 minutes of your life back.

This is my first really professional review. Everything's there. I'm still proud of it.

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