Spy Kids

Guess what, people: "Spy Kids" is the new Robert Rodriguez film. Yes, the man who made "Desperado," in which the gun:human ratio was about 3:1, and "From Dusk Till Dawn," the finest film ever made about strippers who turn into vampires and menace traveling bank robbers and Christians, has made a children's movie. And it's awesome.

It's the perfect family movie, if the parents of the family define enjoyable cinema as "cinema in which the world is threatened and only a couple intrepid people armed with the latest in high-tech gadgetry can save it." Before you know it, you'll have the kids on early Bond, and then Schwarzenegger and Willis, and perhaps even Lungren and Van Damme. But the most important fact about "Spy Kids" is that, even without cutting it any slack for its youth orientation, it is the best-directed action film in your local multiplex right now.

As in any action film, the plot is not the most relevant part, but it bears summarizing. Gregorio Cortes (Antonio Banderas - yes, this is a Robert Rodriguez film) and his wife Ingrid (Carla Gugino) were once the greatest secret agents in the world, until they met each other and decided to take on the biggest challenge of all: marriage and family. They now have two little ones, Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni (Daryl Sabara), a nice house, and lucrative "consulting" jobs, but they occasionally yearn for a little adventure. When secret agents the world over begin disappearing, they get their chance to swing into action.

Out of practice, they get captured almost immediately by the dastardly Fegan Floop (Alan Cumming), who in addition to being an evil genius is also the host of a popular children's show (cue rueful parental laughter). After a series of increasingly unexpected events, Carmen and Juni realize that since their parents are indisposed, it's going to be up to them to save the world. Realizing the gravity of the situation, they swing into action, with (as you might expect) considerably more success than Mom and Dad.

Rodriguez has had a good career, but it has also been going downhill. Each of his films was a little less enjoyable than the one preceding it, until we got to "The Faculty," which was leaden and routine and almost boring. Something about the demands of a kids' film - perhaps the lightness of touch it requires - has reinvigorated Rodriguez, and in "Spy Kids" he turns in his best work in a long time. Back are the hyperactive zooms, the framings with inherent tension and the expectation of motion, the sharp, clever editing, the sheer joy in watching fists go pow or planes go zoom or killer robots lunge around with both malice and incomprehension. In short, the sense of wonder is back in Rodriguez's direction, and whether the wonder is childlike or not matters little in a ride this thrilling.

All people, of every gender and sexual orientation, should be able to agree that Antonio Banderas is a hunk o' man, and he's as jaw-droppingly sexy as ever here. Gugino makes an effective foil for him, and Cumming enjoys his scatter-headed malice. The grownup cast also includes such stalwarts as Teri Hatcher, Robert Patrick, Tony Shalhoub, and Cheech Marin, just in case there wasn't enough coolness lying around previously.

But Vega and Sabara get the most screen time, and they earn it. Sabara gets the unconfident-kid role, but he seems more natural as an actor when he's resolved his self-esteem issues temporarily and is beating on killer robots. Vega displays a steely-eyed determination and confident calmness that put Drew Barrymore (to name only one female action pretender) to shame. She's a natural-born ass-kicker, even in her larval state, and it's nice to think that perhaps she could be in more of these movies.

Of course, for that to happen, "Spy Kids" has to find favor not with movie reviewers but with tiny people. This movie uses the old trick from the G.I. Joe cartoon series of perpetrating all its violence against robots, which are okay to kill in all right-thinking people's minds. In fact, there's really no objectionable content, if one accepts the inevitable presence of gratuitous "poop" and "pee" jokes. The evil fortress is colorful and bright for the eyes of little ones, and of course it doesn't hurt that the kids are the only ones who actually do much of anything. But what do I know? I'm at least ten years too old for this stuff.

So, as is my usual practice at these films, I asked a cute little girl (hereinafter CLG) what she thought. Here's a transcript:

ALM: So, did you like the movie?

CLG: Yes!

ALM: Was there anything you didn't like about the movie?

CLG: No!

Cute little boy, unsolicited: That was awesome!

CLB #2, also unsolicited: When this comes out on video, I'm going to make Mom rent it over and over again!

Parents, consider yourselves warned. Or, given the entertainment value of "Spy Kids" even for those whose age has two digits in it, consider yourselves lucky.

LIGHTNING DOES NOT STRIKE TWICE

As many of you will remember, I had a memorable interaction with a cute little girl last time I went to a screening of a kids' movie. (For those of you who were not on the list at that time, or just want to read it again, [it will be in the marginalia to "Dinosaurs" once I put that up]. It was not in any way illegal, so just put that thought out of your mind.) Hopeing to recapture the same hilarity and perceptive commentary, I found another cute little girl to consult. Her mom, however, had not given her free access to a coffeepot in the way the other CLG's mom apparently had, and she had no outlandish quotes to give me. She did, however, like the film. The CLBs figured out I was a reporter (they belonged to some other mom) and were a bit more assertive and articulate in offering their opinions, but they didn't say anything hilariously disturbing either.

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