Name Checker

Like Ernie Banks, I'm rarely if ever scowlin

Gimme a lute and I'll pluck like John Dowland

Or gimme a guitar and I'll pluck like Jose Ferranti

Droppin bomb lyrics like my name was Da Ponte

A classical impresario like Anton Diabelli

Goin ever higher like my name was Farinelli

Machiavelli not my model, that'd be Naomi Campbell

Front like Elmer Fudd and I'll have to drop an anvil

Like Bugs Bunny - yeah, I do think I'm funny

Bringin the left hook like my name was Jack Tunney

Like Enrico Fermi, even my piles are blazin

You can't get too close cause the style's too amazin

You're gazin at me like I was a Kandinsky

My music causes riots like my name was Stravinsky

Not syphilitic, unlike the one called Schubert

I do not hang with squares, unlike the one called Q-bert

Ladies, I want all of you, just like Uncle Sam

Put me in a locked room I'll break the glass like Darvin Ham

Teachin folks classical like the late Persechetti

The pianist is Michaelangeli, Arturo Benedetti

Faster than Andretti, writin fugues with stretti

And if you front I'll bust you into Rubble like Betty

MC's your raps are wandering, troppo con licenza

And so I'll have to serve ya like Hal Incandenza

Lately I thought to kick your ass like Don Gately

But I restrained myself cause your mental state be

Unfit to judge like the brothers Menendez

You're overpaid for nothing like Adrian Hernandez

While I bring a big unit like my man Randy Johnson

Prosecute your crimes like my name was Fred Thompson

Your rhymes sound idiotic, like the book by Dostoyevski

You need to be coached, but not by Mike Krzyzewski

Cause Mike Dunleavy's a bitch and he's got a huge head

And he ran crying from Duke when he saw Terp red

That's just how you're running, but it won't work today

Cause you're trying to pull a scam like Enron's Ken Lay

And don't think to deny it like in John Grisham's The Client

Or I will break you down like a Plymouth Reliant

While I drive a Ferrari like my man Ferris Bueller

And I'm the king of the road like Wilhelm was the ruler

Of Germany before World War One

I score for Zhang Ziyi like my name was Tan Dun

You can't run even as the plot starts to thicken

Givin you Hard Times like my name was Chuck Dickens

Your pulse quickens, and you don't know what to do

Cause like Colonel Mustard I left you without a clue

I'll do you with a candlestick in the conservatory

Cause like Bob Vila with a drill, your rhymes, they full bore me

Make no apologies, not like the one called Plato

Never freeloadin, unlike the one called Kato

And unlike Neville Chamberlain I never back down

Crushin your defenses like my name was Jim Brown

Or escape like Barry, the Lion legendary

The way you write rhymes is for kids like Richard Scarry

You should be on Barney with that rhymin blarney

I'll crack you with a whip like the one called Dick Armey

My favorite medieval mode would have to be the Lydian

Laying down the law like my name was Justinian

His laws had bite, not unlike the root beer Barq's

Leading a revolution, but not the same as Marx

Workers of the world, unite and get down

But don't run or I'll stuff you like my name was Gilbert Brown

Or maybe Reggie White, blindside ya from the right

Lindemann is on point like my name is Brevin Knight

Droppin fat men just like Harry S Truman

Never ever worry like Alfred E. Neuman

And like Stuart Scott, I'll make your plays of the week

But all these metaphors can't touch me cause my rhyme style is unique

Lindemann the MC Home

Spam-O-Matic Home