Big Ole Braine

I was at the mall, sippin cappucino

Dicsussin the actions of Attorney Janet Reno

Whether she should have hired a special prosecutor

And if she let her hair grow, she just might look cuter

That's when I seen her, her name was Tina

She was reading a book bout the Shining Path in Lima

I said How ya doin, my name's Lindemann

Shall we discuss Goethe, or maybe Thomas Mann?

She said no thanks, I don't care for German writin

I said that's all right, we can discuss Maoist fightin

To make a long story short, got the e-mail address

Called her on the modem, cause I got access

I was questionin and testin her, cold corraboratin her

Laughin cause my girl didn't know I was debatin her

Playin Socrates in the room of chattin

That's what time it is, you know what's happenin

She had a big ole mind, I was having a time

Now yeah, I admit that my girl is a find

But Tina was creative, as God's my witness

With this kind of policy puts Albright out of business

When my girl got home we talked money exchange

But the discussion had none of Tina's depth or her range

I sat my girl down, I couldn't contain it

And versified thus, as I tried to explain it:

Tina got a big ole brain

I know I told you I'd be true

But Tina got a big ole brain

So I'm leavin you (2x)

I went to the college, half past two

Tryna catch a cutie readin Camus

My homeboy's Peugot, blastin Ravel

Auvergne ‘68, the wine aged well

Girls all over with intellects

The kind of woman that Lindemann respects

That's when I seen her, her name was Brenda

She was readin Proust's novel bout the things he remembered

I said to my boy, Yo, stop the car

She's only 17, but that book's hard

I stepped on the scene like Napoleon III

And said Pardon, madame. Savez-vous qui je suis?

She said, Something's wrong. You don't look French

I said What gave it away? My lack of a stench?

Let's go get some wine, and talk Voltaire

Or maybe Rabelais, or even Molière

The girl came home, and we talked about it all

To the postmodern, from earliest Gaul

I questioned her ideas, and made her laugh

This girl coulda wrote a damn monograph

When we were through she said she'd e-mail me

I went to the kitchen to get some smoked Brie

Tina busted in my house as Brenda was walkin

You know what I said? Too bad you caught me talkin, but

Brenda got a big ole brain

I know I told you I'd be true

But Brenda got a big ole brain

So I'm leavin you (2x)

I went to Barnes and Noble to buy some Nietzsche

(I'd been reading Kirkegaard but I was sick of his preaching)

I bought an espresso from the coffee bar

And chomped on a biscotti which was too damn hard

Some old folks were staring, looking snide

I paid no attention and walked inside

I went to the stacks to compare translations

And this cute clerk was staring, evidencing titillation

I went to the register, paid for my books

I said to the clerk, I'm aware of your looks

But I'll bet your mind's even more hot

She said, You got a girl! I said, It matters not

You look interesting like a philosophista

What's your name? She said My tag says Lisa

I said, OK, you're cute and all that

But when you get off work, yo I'll be back

She looked at me, said What the hell?

L, what we discussin? The nature of selves

She looked kinda puzzled, I said, You'll see

I pulled up at 10 on the d-o-t

When she walked out the door I pulled her in the right direction

We ran over into the philosophy section

I sat her down with coffee and a bagel

And gave her ideas more penetratin than Hegel

On and on till the break of dawn

All over the bookstore, philosophy spawned

When we got repetitive, I checked my watch

I couldn't believe it said nine o'clock

I grabbed my books, downed my espresso

Who did I see?––Aw yo!

It was Brenda!

She worked at Barnes and Noble but I didn't remember

Lisa got a big ole brain

I know I told you I'd be true

But Lisa got a big ole brain

So I'm leavin you (2x)

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