Push, Push, for the Bushes

Top Ten Things George W. Bush May Have Said to Laura While Watching African Elephants Doin' It, and Doin' It, and Doin' It Well:

10. "That guy Shaka needs a nickname. I think I'll call him Lengthy."

9. "If those elephants aren't married, I'm against this."

8. "You know, they say the bigger the penis of the species your political party uses as a symbol, the bigger your…"

7. "Do you have a video camera? We can sell this stuff to whitehouse.com, especially if we can get Barbara in the shot."

6. "Looks like Shaka's tired. You know what he needs? A massive cut in the marginal income tax rate."

5. "O the glory of watching two untamed beasts, consumed by their own lustful passions, enacting a ritual that has come down unaltered throughout the centuries in their own particular fashion, and thus ensuring that life will continue to flourish on this otherwise-fragile blue globe!"

4. "Did I ever tell you about the time me and the Dekes snuck into the Beardsley Zoo? All I can say is, I've been there, and not on the good end."

3. "Work it, Shaka! Make the pie higher, big guy!"

2. "Does Iraq have elephants? Because that's a weapon of mass destruction if I ever saw one."

1. "Elephants are endangered? You know why species become endangered? Because they don't do enough of this."

Humor Home

Spam-O-Matic Home