The Spy Who Spaded Me

American University Law Revue

An actual majority of my friends either are attending law school, applying to law school, or setting an ultimate goal of entering law school while they twiddle their thumbs in their present occupations for one reason or another. So while tales of law school used to bewilder me, over time I have learned enough of the dialect that I now find these stories engaging, entertaining even, quite apart from the inherent interest I take in the exploits of my awesome friends.

A group of law students at American University, though, has for some years been going the extra mile in vividly rendering the trials and triumphs of law school for insiders and outsiders alike: They put on a show! Appropriately enough, the group is called Law Revue, and this year's spectacle was titled "The Spy Who Spaded Me," after the espionage-oriented plot and the "intensive and extensive proofreading of a legal article that is to be published in a journal," as explained by a handy glossary in the program. I had the good fortune of attending Saturday evening's show.

This glossary not only provided entertaining definitions of otherwise-obscure terms ("program activities" is defined as a "euphemism for thinking about possibly doing something") but also filled the lay audience's minds with just enough knowledge to ensure total focus on the songs: popular tunes, mostly from musicals, retrofitted with law school-appropriate lyrics. Studying the glossary allowed me to concentrate on the wordplay and laugh lines of the songs themselves; particularly noteworthy in this regard were "Hey Big Law Firm," "Law School Romance" (based on that "Somewhere out there..." song from "An American Tale"), and "I Spaded All This Wrong" (from "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC).

Studying the glossary before the show also meant that my eyes were free to watch the choreography, surprisingly intricate for something law students had to learn in their spare time and executed with enthusiasm. In addition, my eyes had a fine time roaming over the vast numbers of female law students-cast members in tight clothing, many of whom were performing astonishingly suggestive maneuvers of one kind or another. Quality! (The program rightly credits Michelle McIntyre with creating "the raunchiest choreography since the Paris Hilton sex tape." Night-vision goggles, however, were not required for viewing.)

Special mention should be made of certain performers. Golden-voiced Eric Huang's star turn as spy turncoat George Townsend was punctuated by a blistering fiddle solo during the parody of "The Devil Came Down to Georgia" (with Georgetown substituted as a locale, natch). Jane Song snarled impressively and paced imperiously as the evil Georgetown Law dean created by that encounter. Andy Sonin masterfully ratcheted up the Gollum-esque schizophrenia of his character as the show progressed, providing laffs aplenty. And "American Idol"'s Randy Jackson needs to worry if Shane Warmington can imitate him this well, for probably much less money than Jackson makes.

But the point of writing reviews that feature huge conflicts of interest is to celebrate the people who create those conflicts of interest, and while I have been happy to make the acquaintance of many cast members through him, Robert Kahn will always be the Man Supreme in my book. "The Spy Who Shagged Me" provided ample evidence of why. His sparkling duets with Gunnar Rosenquist as "Geavis and Rumsfeld," who do not resemble MTV's "Beavis and Butthead" in any way actionable under copyright law, made light, immature fun of heavy legal terminology. Robert's air guitar exploits on "I Spaded All This Wrong" (which he wrote, by the way) were enough to make even this non-rocker want to put up my lighter (if I had had one). And his presence in crowd scenes or in one-line appearances as Dean Claudio Grossman never failed to light up the stage. The only truly disappointing thing about his performance was the realization that I will have only one more chance to watch him alongside all the other extremely talented members of Law Revue.

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